I read a book by Gordon O. Martinborough simply entitled "I LOVE YOU". It is a book that deals on how to deal on the struggles of relationships - marriage, parent-teen relationship, love affair. It is a book that best complements human affair with Divine affair. When our relationship with God is in trouble, definitely our human affair is in great danger, as well. It also deals with ways on how to deepen our love relationship with the Greatest Lover. 

I found a chapter in this book that differentiates infatuation from love. Everyone of us seek for genuine love and the most common question is "could that ever be true love?"

1. Infatuation is ruled by feelings, but LOVE is feelings ruled by principle
Love is not composed of feelings only. It is feelings plus principles. In true love, feelings are under the control of principles.

Read Corinthians 13:4-7.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

"Love never fails" (v.8)


2. Infatuation is blind, but LOVE sees and examines
While infatuation cannot see and do not wish too see, true love uses its eyes to see and to examine the strengths and weaknesses of the prospective partner.

Read Mark 8:18
"Do you have eyes, but fail to see."

3. Infatuation is in a hurry, but LOVE takes time
Everything of a permanent value in life takes time. As the famous line goes... true love takes time - time to know and time to grow.

Read Ephesians 4:15
God expects couples in love to "grow-up".

4. Infatuation is obsessed with externals, but LOVE is concerned with internals
True love is concerned with the personality, the kind of person the partner really is. It pays attention to the character, the inner self.

Read 1 Samuel 16:1
"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

5. Infatuation is childish, but LOVE is mature
Infatuation is self-centered but true love is "other-centered". This is one of the most difficult thing to do because we tend to focus on ourselves, on our emotions, and wants. But love is concerned with the welfare of one's partner. It is a self-sacrifice that is given freely without expecting something in return.

Read 1 Corinthians 13:11
It has "put childish ways behind."

6. Infatuation is a human ditch but LOVE is a divine ladder
It should be clear to us that we do not "fall" in love, we "climb" on to love. Every person has the freedom to choose between the tragedy of one and the triumph of the other! In most cases of arguments, it is important that one goes down, the other goes up.

Rushing my way to the office early this morning made me fail to take my breakfast. I decided to eat my breakfast in our canteen. Tita Nida (one of the concessionaires in our canteen), was also eating her breakfast and offered me to join her. As we were talking, she told me about her adopted daughter's condition (I was amazed to know that she's only adopted). She told me that she has to work double time in order to finance the medications of her daughter who has a congenital heart disease. I asked if the girl is a daughter of her sister or any of her relatives... and she said "No. She is given to me by a stranger in our hometown in Mindanao."... (I was even more amazed.) For years, Tita Nida shoulders the medications and other clinical procedures of the child. Most her income were spent in the wellness of the child. She told me that eventhough the child did not came out of her body, the hardship that she went through was even greater. The only thing that makes her strong is when she sees her (adopted) daughter smile. It is also very rewarding said Tita Nida because the girl is very smart and always tops in her class, she is now in 4th grade. Still, Tita Nida is saving money for the girl's heart operation... it has been long overdue since they have no enough funds for it.

A mother that loves her child is noble, but to love a child, who is not blood-related, given by a stranger, is much nobler. Despite of Tita Nida's little earnings, she accepted the child whole-heartedly. She loves the child like her own. She opened her heart and embraced the child with love and care. This left me thinking what I can do for others without expecting in return? Will I also be capable of giving an unconditional love like Tita Nida?

It made me think also of other parents who take their children for granted; parents who let their children suffer from child labor; parents who abuse or never have the time to attend to their children's physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs; parents who are ungrateful for having a child (while other sterile or unproductive couples struggle hard just to have one). How cruel these parents are.

It made me think of children who end up being abandoned in shelter homes... just imagine the emotional trauma these children are going through... insurmountable!

It made me think of the volunteers in the different organizations that provide shelter, education, and home to the abandoned children. These volunteers give their time and effort to teach and guide them. It made me wonder how they would survive without any compensation from their endeavor.

How wonderful it is to know that there are still people like Tita Nida who can share their love and care (and money) for children they are not related with.

It is my dream to have a foundation for abused and abandoned children someday... a foundation that will provide education to them because I believe that formative years start in early childhood. I have a heart for children (and elderly, as well) especially for those who are neglected, abused, and abandoned by their loved ones. I realized that I, myself sometimes feel the same (neglected, empty, betrayed)... it was a mental disaster... an emotional calamity. But I am still blessed for I have my family & friends to support and encourage me. How much more with these children who are totally cast-off?

Someday, I will be a mother too... Hopefully, I will have my own children... but what if one day, a stranger knocks at my door and gives me her child to nurture and take care of? Will I be compassionate enough to accept the child? When that moment comes, I will be remembering Tita Nida's.

"No one has ever become poor by giving." Anne Frank

"Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others." Barbara Bush

"The love we give away is the only love we keep." Elbert Hubbard

"Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege." John D. Rockefeller Jr.

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It took me long to post a new entry.. I got too preoccupied since October last year. Also, I got too many blessings that I wanted to share in this blog but I didn't even know where and how to start. 

2008 is another year for me to live forward to. 2007 was a tough one, but is something I considered as the most rewarding year for me! As I was looking at my 2007 planner, I found a note which I wrote at the beginning of the year.

January 1 - will be a tough and challenging year for me... a year for spiritual enrichment, a year for emotional maturity. Everyday is something to look forward to. I am looking forward for a deeper, honest & loving relationship w/ God before my other concerns. A year of self-awareness as to what my purpose here on earth... A year God will truly show me what life awaits me & what kind of life God wants me to have. At the end of the year, w/ God's loving guidance and Mother Mary's assistance, He will show me His purpose.

As I was reading my note... I realized how God really shaped me over the year. It's really amazing when you put your life and entrust the pen to God to write your life's story. It was really a year of spiritual enrichment... I value those times that I cried and laughed with Him... it makes me smile everytime I remember my struggles and how He helped me through.

Now, looking back... I know that I am a better, stronger person than before. Sometimes, I tell myself... what else I couldn't handle without You, Lord... my fears were replaced with faith & hope. That made me realized that trouble itself... depression itself is a wonderful blessing from God...

Here are just few of the many inspiring Biblical thoughts that encouraged and strengthened me over the year:

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor governments nor things now here nor things to come nor powers nor height nor depth nor any other creation will be able to separate us from God's love that is in Christ Jesus, Our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

"Indeed, toward God wait silently, O my soul. Because from Him is my HOPE. Indeed, He is my rock & my salvation, my secure height; I shall not be made to totter. Upon god are my salvation & my glory, my strong rock, my refuge is in God. Trust Him at all times, O people. Before Him pour out your heart. God is a refuge for us." (Psalm 62:5-8)

"For we were saved in Hope; but hope that is seen is not hope; for when a man sees a thing, does he hope for it? But if we hope for what we do not see, we keep on waiting for it w/ endurance."  (Romans 8:24-25)

"Who will separate us from the love of Christ?" (Romans 3:5)

"But when you are arrested, don't worry about what to say, for when the time comes, the words you need will be given freely." (Matthew 11:28)